Skip to content

Support at the end of life

My name is Erin and I'm a death doula in Manchester, England. I am here for people who are at the end of life, and their friends and families.

Also known as end of life doulas, soul midwives or death walkers, people like me have existed as long as humans have lived in communities. 

grayscale-mountain

What exactly is a death doula?

And what do you do?

An End of Life Doula (I prefer Death Doula) offers a range of support and services for the end of life. Death Doulas provide emotional, practical, and spiritual support for individuals at the end of their lives, as well as the family and friends around them. How we provide those services is as different as we are as individuals, and as varied as the people we work with - not to mention at what point in life we meet!  

Put simply, I’m a companion for people navigating terminal illness, the dying process, and grief. I sit with you through the difficult parts, help you figure out what matters most, what you want and what you don’t want, and what legacy you want to leave.

Above all, I’m here to make sure you and yours don't have to face this alone.

placeholder_200x200

About me

I am a member of End of Life Doula UK and trained through Living Well Dying Well. There are no requirements to work as a Death Doula, however it was incredibly important to me to partner with organisations that operate at the highest standards in the UK. 

This means:

  • I am fully insured to do this work
  • I have a clean DBS
  • I have received training from the only Crossfields Institute Quality Mark end of life doula programme in the UK

I have always been fascinated with mortality. Even as a kid, I had what my parents called a “morbid streak.” One of the earliest careers I was interested in was being a funeral director! 

But it was the sudden and unexpected death of my father in 2022 that gave me a push to finally pursue a true calling. Through the whole time, I just kept thinking, "There must be someone I can find that will help with all of this!" With my training and lived experience of sudden loss, it became obvious to me that our culture lives in complete denial about our mortality. This denial is such a huge source of pain and confusion, which feels entirely avoidable (given we all know death is promised).

So my goal is to be the guide I desperately needed,  to individuals, families, communities and our culture as a whole. Living with your mortality is the key to a rich life and a better death. I am non-medical, secular, and accepting of all beliefs and backgrounds.

Schedule a free call

Every person and situation is unique, so let's meet to talk about your needs.

Get started

How are death doulas different from hospice nurses, chaplains, therapists...?

When I tell people I'm a death doula, the first question is usually "so you're a nurse?" or "is this religious?" No and no. Here's how death doulas fit into the bigger picture.

Hospice/Palliative Care

Hospice nurses are medical professionals. They manage pain, administer medications, monitor symptoms, and provide clinical care. They're absolutely essential, and I work alongside them, not instead of them.

What I do is fill the gaps hospice can't always fully  cover, like the emotional support, the difficult family conversations, the advocacy, the presence when nurses have moved on to their next patient.

Hospice nurses have caseloads and schedules and pressure to keep up  They manage your body. I help with everything else.

Chaplains/Religious Leaders

Chaplains and religious leaders offer spiritual support rooted in faith traditions. If that's meaningful to you, they're invaluable.

I'm not a spiritual guide. I don't bring religion into the room unless you ask for it. What I offer is human companionship without any particular belief system attached. I can help facilitate rituals or ceremonies that matter to you, religious or not, but I'm not here to guide you toward any particular afterlife belief.

Some people want both. Some people want neither. I'm here for whatever feels right to you.

Therapists/Counselors

Therapists help you process trauma, work through psychological issues, and develop coping strategies to help navigate life. It's incredibly important work. But here's a secret: the grand majority are not trained to assist someone facing the end of life.

I'm not a therapist. I don't diagnose or treat anything. What I do is sit with you in the reality of what's happening, the dying, grief, and loss, without trying to fix it or make it better.

Sometimes you don't need therapy. You just need someone who isn't afraid of death and won't try to silver-lining you.

Funeral Directors

Funeral directors handle the legal requirements, the body care, the logistics of burial or cremation. They can be very important for the practical realities after death. 

But they aren't always good at explaining the options available to you.

I can help you plan what you want your funeral or ceremony to look like, and even connect you to professionals who will support your vision. I support the conversation about what matters to you, then I help your family communicate those wishes to the relevant people when the time comes.

So what do death doulas actually do?

We work WITH your medical team, your spiritual advisors, your therapists, your funeral directors - not instead of them. Think of me as the connector, a constant, the companion who's there for all the parts that don't fit neatly into anyone else's job description.

Who benefits from working with a death doula?

My services are for situations where a person is facing a terminal or life-limiting diagnosis. I support them and also the community of people around them, be that friends, family, neighbours, etc. This looks different for everyone.

If you're facing the end of life and you don't want to do it alone, or you're supporting someone who is, this work is for you.

elephant-6723451_1280

Perhaps you've just received devastating news and don't know where to start, or don’t want to start talking about it with your people before you’ve had time to understand it yourself.

You could be the adult child watching a parent decline and feeling completely unprepared.

Maybe you're the partner who's trying to hold everything together while your person is dying.

You might be looking for someone who can help you have the conversations you've been avoiding, someone who can sit with you in the hardest moments without trying to fix anything or rush to make it comfortable.

You might want help figuring out what a "good death" means for you specifically, not what the hospice brochure says it should look like.

Perhaps you’re alone right now, through distance or estrangement. You might need someone for support and companionship, as well as to advocate for your wishes when you're unable to communicate them yourself.

My Death Doula services are also available to those around the dying person, and sometimes exclusively for them. You want to step up and offer support, but you’re unsure how. I’m here to guide and empower you so you can confidently be there for the person you care about. 

I'm available to sit at the bedside and hold vigil in those last hours and days.

I’m also here for after death, providing a space to process the bereavement, to help organise a funeral, wake, ceremony in a way that reflects the real personality and values of the person.

Explore services in detail

I'm available to provide as much or as little support as you need, understanding your situation will develop and change as time goes on. Click the button below to get further details about what I offer.

Get started

Volunteering and other projects

I’m not sure if anyone can be a death worker without it infusing through your whole life! It has a way of changing the way you see the world. Here are some other things I do in addition to being an end of life doula. I'm sure you can see how they all inform each other, though.
tnn

The New Normal

I’m a volunteer facilitator with The New Normal. This peer-to-peer grief support charity is doing amazing things for adults who have experienced bereavements of all kinds. I’m proud to say I’ve helped start their second regular in-person grief meeting here in Manchester!

hinterland death cafe

Death Cafe

I also facilitate a monthly Death Cafe with Hinterland Cafe and Bar. It’s an open and inclusive space that offers people from all backgrounds, religions, and experiences the chance to talk about death, dying, grief and other end of life topics.

GMS-1

The Good Mourning Society

Additionally, I have founded The Good Mourning Society. It’s a place for people who will die… eventually. Our culture needs help shifting the way we think about, talk about, and plan for all things aging, dying, death and grief. Through events, products, and services, we work to create that needed shift in awareness and conversation. 

Ready to learn more?

Click the button below to schedule a free 30 minute call. We'll get to know each other, your unique situation and I can better understand how I can specifically help you and yours.

Schedule call